How to Give the Perfect Handjob

     Giving and/or receiving handjobs is a great way to explore your sexual side with another person. It also makes for a great intermission between other activities when done right. They can usually bring a guy to orgasm easily or make for the perfect foreplay move.

     Whether it’s your first time, or first time with a particular partner, it’s important not to over think things. It isn’t (pocket) rocket science, just remember the basics but you’ll have to adjust the technique depending on the person. If in doubt it will pay in dividends to watch your partner give themselves a handjob so you can see the techniques they have tried and tested on themselves for years. 

     It’s good to start slowly and gently and depending on whether your partner is circumcised or not, or based on preference, use lube but don't use too much pressure until you’re getting into the swing of things. When he  is getting close to climaxing be sure to go a little slower for a stronger finish and milk the orgasm gently. Things can become very sensitive, very quickly.

     That’s all you need to know to begin! You’ll find out what works by trying different things, paying attention to your partner and his reactions and most importantly talking about it together. Don’t be afraid to ask for direction and feedback. 

           What follows is what works for me. Take it as a pile of suggestions, not as a strict instruction manual!

      I find the wetter a hand job is, the better. Use any kind of lube that you like (some people prefer the rougher friction of using no lube) and just keep in mind that if you’re using oil or silicone based lube you’ll have to give yourselves a good wash off if you plan on using toys next. And if you’re using a condom, stay away from oil-based lubes and also, if you plan on engaging in oral play along with or after the handjob, then use something that you don’t mind the taste of. Keep in mind that saliva makes great lube too.

     Put some lube on his penis and/or your hands and gently start stroking him. Whether he’s still soft or already erect, start slowly and gently, focus on his shaft. Use your finger tips or backs of your fingers to lightly stroke him, and then bring one hand up and down on the shaft, using both hands, taking turns stroking upwards (one after the other) on it, or alternatively simply hold your hand still and run your fingers around and up and down the shaft. Run your fingertips all over his penis and balls and once he’s fully hard, start adding a twisting motion to your hand as you go up and down on his shaft making sure your wrist is constantly moving. If he has enough length he might enjoy it if you stack your hands on top of one another and twist them in opposite directions with only a slight up and down movement. Watch your grip and note if more lube is needed as some guys love a good firm one, while others need a more gentle touch. Again communication is key.

     Only when he’s fully aroused should you go near the head of his penis. This is the most sensitive spot and should not be stimulated until he’s been properly warmed up. Also, some guys may be too sensitive for direct stimulation like this (especially those that are not circumcised) which in that case, stimulate it with the foreskin, or simply use a very light touch. If even that is too much, just avoid it altogether. If the head is desensitised, try grasping his penis right below where the shaft meets the head (the corona) and running your thumb in circles around the head. You’ll also want to try stimulating the frenulum directly with your thumb or fingertips rubbing up and down.

     Then try putting one hand on the shaft, stroking it up and down, and running your fingers around it, keeping your strokes to only the top of his penis. You can also place the palm of your hand right onto the head and massage the rest of his penis from there. After a bit of this, start sneaking your way lower and lower until you’re doing full strokes of the entire shaft and glans. This is multitasking at its finest. 

     If he has lasted this long on you don’t stress it just means he’s a stayer, there are a few more tricks in the book. Have one hand stroking up and down on the shaft (with the twisting motion) and place the palm of your other hand directly over the head. You can leave it there, just giving little, gentle squeezes or you can then pull that hand upwards, letting your fingers fall down and stroke up on the head as the palm lifts. 

     You can also take the whole head in your hand and lightly squeeze it while giving it a gentle twisting, swirling motion (like you’re juicing a lemon) as the other hand continues to work the shaft. Again, this may be intense for some, so be sure to communicate with your partner about how it feels. You can also wank him with your hand upside down (so the thumb is down and pinkie is on top) for a tighter sensation around the base of the shaft. You can play around with switching your grip between each stroke if he likes it or try stroking him downwards (one hand after the other) for a while and then only upwards. It’s all about experimenting and playing around with the many different techniques in order to learn what is pleasurable to him.

     Never forget to keep stimulating the balls even if only occasionally. Ask him to tell you exactly what he likes and doesn’t like, since guys can differ a lot with ball sensitivity. Experiment with massaging, stroking or rubbing them if he’s up for it. The perineum can also be a sensitive spot on a guys body.

     As always, communication is the secret to great sex play. As you try new things, make sure to give each other feedback on how it feels (whether it’s good or bad) and remember to watch him if you can to learn his own techniques. Follow this guide and you’ll have him coming back for more in no time. 

Play Hard, Play Safe.

- XPLCIT Assistance