Many people choose to experiment with anal play. It’s a sexual act that feels good, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. It’s a good idea to test on your own before adding a partner into the mix. If you’re not comfortable using your finger, how do you expect to be okay when a partner does it?

Be prepared. If you can’t handle the off chance that there’s going to be a little bit of poo still in the rectum, then anal play is not for you. That said, as long as you’ve “prepped” aka douched, there shouldn’t be any mess or if there is, very minimal.

The key is to know your digestive system. If you have a proper balance of fibre and protein in your diet, your poo should come out nice and firm. When you wipe, and there’s barely anything left on the toilet paper, you’re good to go!

Have a soak in the tub or a shower but do not put soap in your anus! That will burn! No need to put any water in it either. If you feel the need to, then no more than an ear syringe worth of water is needed. Many people choose to use enemas before anal sex, I do, and I'm an advocate for their use. Even though it can wreak havoc on your digestive system, don't go overboard (you only need to clean the first passage unless you are engaging into something a little more intense) and who wants to kill the mood while balls deep.... right? Now make sure you use lube, and you're good to go!

Also, make sure your nails are short, you’re not wearing any rings or bracelets. Start with your usual way of getting turned on may it be by putting on some porn, reading magazines or even come up with fantasy in your head and start playing with yourself as you usually would. This gets you in the mood, and your body becomes prepared for sexual play. Lying on your back tends to be the most comfortable position for anal self-stimulation.

Slowly play around with the sphincter area as it’s one of the most sensitive areas around the bum, so a light touch is all you need at first.

Start adding lube in as you seriously need it for anal play to be enjoyable. Use it and use lots of it. Also, remember to keep reapplying it every few minutes, as the lube gets absorbed into the colon or pushed up higher into the rectum, where it doesn't do you any good.

No need for a particular “anal” kind. Water or silicone based will do. If you’d prefer to do anal play in the bath, then you’ll want to use silicone based (be careful when you stand up afterwards though, it might be a little slippery).

Start to massage the anus with a bit more pressure. For males, it’s an excellent idea to externally massage the prostate with your other hand at this point, by rubbing your perineum. Once you’re ready for insertion, your finger should slip right in. No force or pressure should be required. If it won’t go in, it means you’re not ready (not aroused enough or comfortable/relaxed). Give it time and don’t rush or force it.

Once you’re inside, keep your finger shallow and move it around in circles, feeling the walls of the anus. Focus on massaging the walls of the rectum as you slowly move deeper in. You may enjoy slow thrusting in and out at this point, as you continue to rub against the sides of the anus.

Stimulation tends to be a bit different for males and females since men have a prostate to stimulate but girls don’t.

At this point, locate your prostate. Run your fingers along the front wall of the anus (closest towards your penis). It’s a small, round bulb of tissue about the size of a chestnut that has a slightly rubbery texture. It should be about 2 inches up. Start with a gentle circular motion with your finger. As you become more aroused, you should feel it swell up and that’s when you can start increasing your pressure. Many men enjoy using a “come here” motion with their fingers pressing into the gland, while others like more of a thrusting motion up and down along it. You may also want to stimulate your penis at the same time.

It’s important to note that anal play on your first time might not feel all that great. It takes time and practice before you start to get the hang of it. Toys are commonly used for anal stimulation, but it’s best to start with your fingers. For now, experiment with different types of strokes and stimulation until you figure out what works best for you.

Now please, go and enjoy!

- XPLCIT Assist